


where the world just shuts down for a while

by immaturities



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Other, anyway it's edited!!!!!! hooray!!!!!!, but it's just a general fic for the batuniverse as a whole???? so, i feel like adding to it would ruin it, mentions of jason being formerly dead, srry i didnt think to add that originally, this is super sparce but i just. idk. there's nothing else to add to it, umm, under the red hood was the inspiration for this so. post red hood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-07
Updated: 2014-12-07
Packaged: 2018-02-28 11:34:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2730938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/immaturities/pseuds/immaturities
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>jason todd was a supernova - bright, and captivating, and destructive - and bruce could never quite contain him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	where the world just shuts down for a while

**where the world just shuts down for a while.**

**.**

( _rewind; let it go -_

recall all the errors in judgment you ever made, every excruciating detail, and think,  _I could have prevented this_.

there’s a lot you could have done - accept your mistakes and move on.)

.

He’s much brighter - louder, rougher - than Dick. It takes some getting used to. He’s also got more problems - a temper to rival your own, but a lack of self control that makes it much more dangerous.

You wanted to help him. That was the original intention.

But then he died and came back and - it was a mess. Your mess. You ignore the heaviness of your head, your shoulders, and resolve to stop him. You’ve taught him everything he knows, everything he uses to kill. Every little trick of escape, all the secrets of the human body and its weaknesses, and so much more. He knows it all.

 _This is my fault_.

Repeat it over and over to yourself to get yourself through this, because thinking of him as just another problem to cleanse makes it easier. (It just doesn’t ease the tension in your chest.)

.

 _this doesn’t change anything_.

And the cave echoes with the words of a child who was never meant to - young and excited and eager. A child. A  _child_. Grit your teeth, turn away.

_doesn’t change anything at all._

_._

You loved that boy. Just as much as you loved Dick, even if you didn’t show it. Because christ, they were both - bright. Promising. And you wanted to give them both the best of everything, even if you didn’t know how to express that.

_let me help you._

Just wanted to make it alright. You tried and you failed. Let him down and - now what?

You don't know. Nothing. 

.

( _it doesn’t change anything, Alfred_  -

walk away from the suit; forget the smile and the laugh -

let it go because it’s  _gone_  and  _he’s_ gone and -

 _you were my greatest failure_.)

.

His jokes needed work. His enthusiasm needed curbing. You remind him, gruffly, and he smiles. Laughs. And you can’t help but ruffle his hair because  _he’s a child, he doesn’t mean it_.

But then he’s a teenager, willfully hurting criminals to an extent which you try to avoid, and - what now? You try to force him to understand your point of view, but he doesn’t grasp onto it. He’s different and it - it worries you. It  _worried_ you. Because damn it, it’s too late now.

You remember him as a child, and on rare night where nothing happens in the city, you crouch on the edges of the tallest buildings and let the wind blow, and briefly wonder what happened to him.

.

 _This is the best day of my life_. 

You never cry. You watch the dirt cover his coffin in silence.

It doesn't rain. 

.

When he confronted you, his voice was bright with emotion, cracking hard, and breaking on each hard word. He was hurting, of course he was. _Just a kid._  He didn't understand. He never really did. Your fault.

You can't tell him the amount of times you've considered breaking Joker's neck. The times you've collapsed in front of his suit, clutching at nothing. The fact that his room is still undisturbed, his door is still shut, as if someday, he'll need it again. The burning in your throat, your nose, and the whispers of memories stuck on a constant loop. For years. 

He yelled. He screamed. You wanted to hold him and let him cry, because you never did when he was young. Your mistake. You stood your ground instead. 

In the end, he got away, and you didn't tell him anything you had really wanted to say. 

.

(Then, eventually: realize that  _you_ happened to him.

Both the best and worst thing you could have done.)

**Author's Note:**

> i kept listening to "find me" by boyce avenue and i watched under the red hood about 5 times in one month so this happened 
> 
> **edit:** i decided to add a section because rereading it made me realise it was too abrupt at the ending... ANYWAY
> 
> thank u for reading!! bye


End file.
